Silenced Epiphanies

So there i was thinking as i constantly think. Chewing my lips as i chew my lips when i'm biting back my words. Only thing i can hear amongst my silenced epiphanies is a voice telling me i've been here before. Right here before. So here i am again.

Thinking if there will ever be a good time knowing theres never a good time. So i will say it as i always say it. Spilling out the meticulous words ive made such an effort to hold back. Bleeding my heart in the open is never too pretty a sight. But my, how it is a sight.

I dont blame him or any of them for their responses as meagre as they are. They dont see it coming. How could they see it coming? I'm only too good at concealing what i dont like. People secretly like what they envy. I like pretty. Pretty things in pretty packages. I dont want to touch it, lest it break although im fully aware its already broken.

There are only too many thing i dont know but I do know this. What i need from them. Regardless of how fast my thoughts are slipping as a train right off its tracks, what i Need does not falter. I need u to listen. Pretend to understand what u find uncomprehensible and aknowledge what you do understand. Hold me firmly, dont let me sink deeper. Tell me what u really think. Lies dont sustain my fragile state, give me truth in a pill i can swallow. Dont..dont leave me. Even if its just for 5 minutes. I'm opening a door i dont have the keys too, that once unanswered remain sealed shut till the next outburst. Dont expect me to bring it up to u again for ur convenience. I'm strong but not that strong baby.

At the end of every rejected & silenced epiphany i've often wondered, with the voice telling me as its told me i've been here before. Why dont you see me?

Comments

[wkhai]

reach out... and don't be subtle about it...

often times, we need to illustrate our points with examples so that the other person will 'get it'

reverse the situation, and they might 'get it'

as for personal feelings and idiosyncracies unique to yourself... explain why you feel a particular way about certain things, why you feel what you're feeling, and hope that even if they don't 'get it', they will take it into consideration in future.

i sense a not so silent cry for understanding... perhaps you need a different approach?